My 32 of my life

As a child being born you dont expect of what lifes to come. You open your eyes for the very first time. You see what could be a great life. You breath in and take it in. Over whelmed of whats life to bring. The day you are taken home your hugged, kissed, bathed, and so on. They teach you to eat, to walk, to sit, and hold your head up high. You see and meet new people all around. Confused to all the drama around your little life. They carry you, comfort you, and protect you from harm. As getting older means do more on your own. They teach you to respect and obey the rules. While living with one parent who isn't quite right he has issues of his own in life. A father that loves you all but cant break free from how he is in life of being an abusive man to not only to his wife but his daughters as well. A mother trying so hard to believe that one day life will be better for her kids. A hopeless thought I carried with me. His records get bigger the judge finally sees and sends him of to leave us be. My mother so lost she breaks free. Becomes a woman we don't recgonize. The freedom she sees of being so free. Her way of dealing with it is going out and leaving us behind and as well sleeps most of our lives. In all my life Ive seen her lil moments of bits when she is awake. I leave my home at 16. I can't stand being with in. Suicide I failed to complete. Growing up as a teen life was so painful many things happened I fend for myself. Met an idot when I turn 18. Turned to be he wasnt for me got pregnant and asked for me to abort her and break him free of all the childsupport he was going to have to pay. He made the appointment and I didnt complete I loved what was growing inside of me. So I was pregnant at the age of 18 and had her 2 weeks after I turned 19. She went through the same cycle of when I was given this peace of shit life. But I am not my mother I thought of when I held her close so tight. I spoke to my child and told her things I will hold you protect you and love you forever its just you and me my carinya te quiero. Few months past and we struggled together more pain and suffering but this time I wasn't alone she was my rock that carried me to go on. Aside from us I had great best friends I love them dearly and cherish them. They helped with giving us a bed, food, and a home. But that can only take you so far when your alone with a child on your own. One day I met another idiot I swear. I was in need of having a home. I settled and I know I made a mistake but we were somewhat living in my car at the time. I should have walked away but I couldnt raise my baby in the point I was in. One week after I met him I saw what was a repeat of my young life at home. But I stayed because I thought the same I hoped that one day my life would change and it will get better some day and for my kids. With in these years I gained a son and another daughter I promised them the same. Three babys I love till my death and beyond. They are my everything in my life. My husband whom I eventually married the day after I reget saying I do. He stole 12 years of my life Im ashamed because I knew deep inside he would always be the same. Im now 31 yrs old and in April 2nd 2008 I woke up and escaped from what I knew Id be dead if I had stayed. I finally had the wizdom and strength to get out on my own. Since then I have gotten a job being I havent work for in 11 yrs which was my choice to raise my babys. Now their all gone all three go off to school. I have gotten my first pay check with my name posted on it. I love it, it feels so nice every week that goes by. I have a place of my own it feels good to be in my own home. Come and go as I please I feel so much I have missed. This freedom of being strong and doing it alone with my 3 little babys. Now in 3 days I will turn 32. My birthday candle blowing wish of course would have been if my numbers could be switched lol. Nah Im good. I am in the happiest point of my life I look forward to seeing and learning some more. Happy Birthday to me and for more years of life to come. Thanks everyone who Ive met along my way. Look forward to meeting more each and everyday.
~Stormy AKA Ms.MexiQueen~ @>~>~~~